I feel like I’m in a waiting room; like my life is on pause. I’ve constantly been on the go, juggling various commitments and activities. But since I graduated in May, this limbo has been my mental state, and it seems like it will be, indefinitely.
My specific circumstances are irrelevant, as 2020 has proven to be one that has forced many of our plans out the window, and replaced the lens in which we look at life. “New normal” has been a term that has been constantly floating around, as if it is a common consensus - yet none of us truly know how to define this new state, and are unwilling to face the fact that we can’t go back to normal.
For the graduating batch, this might mean pulling the plug on your graduation trips or losing a job offer. For the newly minted freshmen, it would redefine how college socializing and classroom learnings look like. And for everyone else in the, it might mean facing retrenchment, instability, breakups, going on zoom-dates instead of in-person ones, and having almost everything delivered to you instead.
Things are no longer the same, and no one is exactly sure of how things will be moving forward. Other than being able to intellectually realize the truth, we have to viscerally know it and feel it. It is going to become easy for us to give up and tune out the noise and uncertainty when we feel isolated and lonely.
I am trying my best to see the silver lining - enjoying these moments, as hard as it seems, so I won’t feel like I am “in-between” two phases, as if I am in a stop-gap measure of sorts. As overwhelming as it gets, I try to enjoy whatever I am doing, and savor every emotion I am are currently feeling, because this pandemic has put us in such a confusingly turbulent yet unique place. And for what it’s worth, I will probably emerge a better individual.